A colleague recently asked me how I avoid working with people I don’t like. He shared that he chooses clients carefully so he can steer clear of anyone who is “difficult.”
It was a genuine (if jarring!) question.
I paused. I considered it carefully.
I scanned my mental list of clients, including past, present, and potential.
And honestly? I couldn’t think of a single one I didn’t like.
That’s not because everyone I work with always exhibits model behavior. In fact, I often work with teams and team members who are struggling with their own and others’ harmful behavior—behavior that over time has damaged both individual relationships and organizational culture.
And during the process, I continually rediscover a powerful truth: when we take the time to really get to know other people, when we engage genuinely and with curiosity, our core perception shifts.
We stop labelling people and instead recognize that they are human—imperfect beings with stories, histories, values, struggles and yes, sometimes challenging conduct. We start to understand the multiple factors that contribute to “difficult” behavior, and we develop more compassion and care. Then we can engage in meaningful conversations about how to move forward, show up differently, and ultimately improve work culture.
Instead of sorting people into “like” verses “don’t like” or “easy” versus “difficult,” I try to approach each person and interaction with presence, respect, and an openness to who they are beyond the surface.
That mindset doesn’t just make my work more enjoyable.
It makes it more effective.
When people are truly seen, they are more apt to engage. They tend to be more open to sharing their needs and receiving constructive feedback. And they are more likely to change their behavior—which improves everyone’s experience.