Author: Melissa Segal

“I can’t believe you are doing that to me.” That was the VP’s first response when a 25-year employee approached him with a difficult, carefully considered request. She had been working long hours and was hoping to find more balance.

I remember the day each of my children left home for college. The day they accepted their first full-time jobs. The day they moved into their own places. Those milestones brought up a mix of emotions: pride, excitement, and yes,

Last week, a loved one in another city was rushed to a hospital, one where we had no sense of the culture or care she would receive. And because she was transported by ambulance in the middle of the night,

She had stepped in it. Again. In a recent coaching session, a client shared that she had reacted to someone’s behavior with anger. Over time, she had learned how to manage disagreements with coworkers. This time, the other person was

“They are having trouble agreeing on next steps. I’d like you to mediate a quick conversation with them to resolve it.” I hear similar requests regularly. And almost every time, the real issue runs much deeper than “agreeing on next

He thought he was being so careful. When picking up the rental car, he scanned every inch and photographed each scratch, as he didn’t want to get stuck paying for damage that wasn’t his. Then, after a sight-seeing stop, he

Just before a conflict resolution session, one participant approached me and said, “After this conversation, I want your honest assessment. If you think we can fix it, great, but if this is unresolvable, I’ll move on.” I paused, sitting with

Last week was a painful one. A simple, ordinary movement, the kind we make a hundred times a day, led to excruciating back pain that rivaled childbirth and sent me first to urgent care and then to the emergency room

“How do we eliminate all this ambiguity?” A participant asked that question in a recent workshop on navigating uncertainty, and the room went quiet. Honestly, I felt it, too. We’re in a season of intense change, and it’s not ending

I rushed to the airport after a full workday. Then, my flight was delayed. Once we finally boarded, we sat and waited for clearance to join the line for takeoff. And when we finally landed, we sat on the tarmac,

A few weeks ago, my dad had a stroke. I awoke to 16 texts, and in an instant, everything else faded into the background. Thankfully, my dad has since made a full recovery. And still, the experience was frightening and

“I’m still under construction.” That’s what Eric Dane said in his poignant final interview. Since watching the interview, I’ve thought deeply about that concept and about his thoughts on continuous improvement. Most of us recognize that humans aren’t perfect, and

“You validated me every time I pushed back.” That’s not the feedback most people expect after a difficult conversation. Yet that’s exactly what my role-play partner shared during a workshop I facilitated on navigating tough conversations. In the exercise, I

“What do you do?” It’s a simple question. And yet, for most of my professional career, it’s one I’ve answered indirectly. My typical response was, “I’m a social worker by training. Right now I am…” followed by whatever position I

It was one of those record scratch moments. I was in the middle of a dental cleaning when the hygienist asked if I’d watched the Super Bowl half-time show. And as she described the performance, I suddenly realized we hadn’t

Was that a genuine question or a challenge? That’s what I asked myself more than once during a recent training I facilitated. One participant asked a lengthy and layered question about whether the material would apply to anyone in her

Last week I became a Nana. As I held my new grandson and watched him sleeping peacefully, I found myself wondering who he will become. While he enters the world with his own personality, he also arrives surrounded by countless

How often do we let a first impression determine what we think about someone? As I walked into the hotel fitness center, I heard someone talking. I turned the corner and noticed a woman on the stationary bike in a

When was the last time you fully explored your core values—and how they actually show up in your life? I spend a lot of time helping organizations clarify their values (and missions/visions!). And yet, I recently realized that I hadn’t

A client recently shared that a colleague’s comments at work often make people uncomfortable. Most team members feel the same way and talk about it with each other. I asked whether anyone has addressed it directly with the colleague. My