I deliberately chose what I thought was the perfect baby gift. I love gifting books, and I was especially excited to find “Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes.” The book portrays babies from different cultures who all share one
What Happened to the Other 0.4%?
I just received my first report card in over 30 years. It was an evaluation of a conference workshop I facilitated with 300 attendees. I noted the scores at the top. 99.6% of attendees said they would recommend me as
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
We were supposed to be on the same team. Yet she didn’t send me important materials or invite me to a critical brainstorming session. I wondered: What was going on? When I requested information and didn’t receive it, and when
A Different Type of Workplace
In the middle of a team meeting, an executive leader raised his voice and said, “Why were you put in charge of that project? We clearly needed someone with real experience managing the process!” The room stilled. People looked down,
I Almost Made It About Me
Just one strap poked into the aisle. Yet the airline attendant glared at me, raised her voice, and told me to push my bag ENTIRELY under the seat in front of me. I guiltily pushed the strap under my bag.
Nobody Wants to Hold the Hot Potato
Remember the last time you made a mistake? How did you feel in the moment? Perhaps you were embarrassed that others might notice. Or disappointed in yourself. Or fearful of the potential consequences. What did you do when you found
Don’t Let the Pebble Become a Boulder
This is about that hard conversation you’ve been avoiding. I know; it’s hard. It’s uncomfortable. And it’s definitely not fun. I’ve talked with three people just this week who are each avoiding a hard conversation. They know that pretending it
Before You Defend Your Position
Recently, I was asked to facilitate a hard conversation between teams in an organization. One team came in ready to listen, understand what had happened, and figure out how they could move forward. The other came in prepared to defend
I Didn’t Buy the Sofa. Here’s Why.
This past weekend, I tried to buy a sofa. As soon as I walked into the store, an associate approached me and asked what I was looking for. I described what I needed. She seemed eager to assist but kept
What We Don’t Know
In desperate need of rehoming. A scruffy, soulful-eyed dog stared up from the photo. I couldn’t scroll past. So I read the post. The author described a host of hard life circumstances—intense family needs, recent financial hardship, and a health
Before You Say, “No”
The conversation ended before it even began. I’d shared an idea with a colleague, who responded by immediately dismissing it—without asking a single clarifying question, without curiosity, and without acknowledging the thought and effort that went into the idea. My
Remember to Look Under the Hood
He wanted to get married. She didn’t believe in marriage. So they abruptly broke up. As I watched the drama unfold on the screen, I sighed. Their argument wasn’t necessarily unsolvable—and it likely wasn’t even about marriage. It was about
Naming the Good in the Middle of the Hard
It’s been a brutal season. This spring alone: the death of a family member, several deaths of friends and colleagues, two emergency hospitalizations of family members, and a trip to the ER for my own injury. In the midst of
News You Didn’t Want to Hear
“I can’t believe you are doing that to me.” That was the VP’s first response when a 25-year employee approached him with a difficult, carefully considered request. She had been working long hours and was hoping to find more balance.
Their Success is Your Legacy
I remember the day each of my children left home for college. The day they accepted their first full-time jobs. The day they moved into their own places. Those milestones brought up a mix of emotions: pride, excitement, and yes,
What Good Culture Looks Like
Last week, a loved one in another city was rushed to a hospital, one where we had no sense of the culture or care she would receive. And because she was transported by ambulance in the middle of the night,
Skilled at Work. Flooded at Home.
She had stepped in it. Again. In a recent coaching session, a client shared that she had reacted to someone’s behavior with anger. Over time, she had learned how to manage disagreements with coworkers. This time, the other person was
Conflict Isn’t a Problem. It’s an Invitation.
“They are having trouble agreeing on next steps. I’d like you to mediate a quick conversation with them to resolve it.” I hear similar requests regularly. And almost every time, the real issue runs much deeper than “agreeing on next
Are You Scanning for Scratches?
He thought he was being so careful. When picking up the rental car, he scanned every inch and photographed each scratch, as he didn’t want to get stuck paying for damage that wasn’t his. Then, after a sight-seeing stop, he
Stay in the Room
Just before a conflict resolution session, one participant approached me and said, “After this conversation, I want your honest assessment. If you think we can fix it, great, but if this is unresolvable, I’ll move on.” I paused, sitting with

