“She’s in charge on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. He’s in charge on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. And you both rest on Sunday.”
That was the unsolicited advice my spouse and I received exactly 31 years ago as we embarked on our honeymoon alongside a tour group of people in their 70’s and 80’s.
At the time, we laughed about it. We still remember the moment, and we still laugh.
Now, of course, we know better. Marriage is not as simple as dividing up decision-making authority by days or areas. It’s about understanding what matters to each person, such as their needs around autonomy, support, and respect. It’s about listening to each other’s perspectives, values, and preferences. And it’s about holding that information in mind when making decisions—even if one person ultimately makes the call.
Successful teams navigate decisions in a similar way. Sometimes a particular team member holds a decision-making role. Yet that person is unlikely to have all the answers on their own. They should consider: Who will be affected? Who has relevant knowledge? What information would be helpful? And what might we be missing?
Then comes the real work. Decision-makers should gather information from people on the ground and listen deeply to understand their needs and concerns. Recognizing that every voice is valuable, they should thoughtfully consider all input—especially when there are disagreements about next steps. And finally, they should take the time to clearly communicate the reasoning that led to the final decision.
Effective leaders don’t just decide “because it’s Tuesday,” and they have the authority to do so. Instead, as part of their process, they commit to meaningful participation of team members and those affected by decisions—every day of the week.