After a routine medical test, I was called back for additional testing because the results were unclear.
When the doctor came into the room, he sat down, introduced himself, and said simply, “Here’s the bottom line. Then we’ll talk through the details.”
I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I’d been holding.
With the most important information out in the open, my body settled. My mind cleared. I could actually listen. I could ask thoughtful questions. I could engage in the conversation instead of bracing for it.
Later, I found myself thinking about how intentionally he handled that moment.
He didn’t circle around the point. He didn’t lead with background or technical explanations I wouldn’t have been able to absorb while waiting for the hammer to fall. He led with clarity, and then he created space for processing and conversation.
That experience made me reflect on how often we do the opposite at work.
We know we need to share difficult or high-stakes information, yet we talk around it. We bury the lede. We offer context and caveats first. And while we may think softening the message is kind, the impact doesn’t match our intent; the listener is anxiously waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop, and they often don’t hear anything we’re saying in the meantime.
Speaking directly (with empathy) demonstrates true care. When people know the bottom line, their nervous systems can settle. Then, when we intentionally pause and let the information sink in, the conversation that follows can be more productive, more honest, and more collaborative.
So here’s the invitation:
Share the core message first—clearly and respectfully. Then pause to give people the space they need to breathe, process, and meaningfully engage in what comes next.
By the way, I’m fine.
And yes, I should have shared that first. 😊