I rushed to the airport after a full workday. Then, my flight was delayed.
Once we finally boarded, we sat and waited for clearance to join the line for takeoff. And when we finally landed, we sat on the tarmac, waiting for a gate.
I didn’t get to my hotel until after 11 p.m. Then, at 12:30 a.m., I was jolted awake by a neighbor, who talked loudly in the hallway and then played music in their room until after 2 a.m.
The next day, I was exhausted. And I was definitely not at my best. I was less patient, less focused, and even a bit testy.
And still, I expected myself to perform as if I were well-rested and at 100% capacity.
That’s what many of us do. We try to leave everything at the door, push through, and perform at a high level no matter what’s going on in our lives.
It’s just not realistic. As humans, our capacity shifts based on what we’re carrying. And it’s important to acknowledge that limit—and to give ourselves grace.
At the same time, our team members are likely carrying their own burdens, and we may not understand what’s happening beneath the surface. The colleague who seems short may have been up all night with a sick child. The team member who misses a detail may be navigating a family crisis. The person who snaps at you may be worried about losing their home or car.
And still, we often move quickly to label the person or the behavior: unprofessional, rude, disengaged, or difficult. We sometimes fill in the story in ways that are incomplete, unfair, or entirely wrong.
The reality is that most people are doing the best they can with what they’re navigating in that moment.
That doesn’t mean that we should lower expectations or ignore the impact of harmful behavior. It does mean that we should lead with more curiosity before jumping to judgement.
Consider: What might be happening that I don’t yet know or understand?
So, before we criticize others for an inadvertent mistake or a snarky comment or behavior, let’s lead with, “How are you doing?” And then, “What can I do to support you?”
When we make space for our own humanity, it’s much easier to extend compassion to others. And when we pause to recognize the humanity in others, we create opportunities for understanding, support, and a healthy workplace culture.