Just one strap poked into the aisle. Yet the airline attendant glared at me, raised her voice, and told me to push my bag ENTIRELY under the seat in front of me.
I guiltily pushed the strap under my bag. After a brief pause, I shook off my embarrassment and turned my frustration outward.
Why was she so rude to me? Her reaction felt extreme, especially for something so small.
And then I wondered if her behavior might have nothing to do with me.
I wasn’t sure. And I didn’t want to assume.
So when she passed my seat again, I smiled and apologized for the strap. She hesitated and then smiled back. A few minutes later, as she shut my overhead bin, I thanked her. She made eye contact and said, “You’re welcome.”
During the flight, we interacted a few times with a pleasant exchange or a knowing look. And as I disembarked, I waved and wished her a great rest of her day. She grinned and responded in kind.
I might never know what was going on for her in that moment—just like we might not know what is happening for our colleagues, direct reports, or people we encounter in the world. And we can still avoid jumping to conclusions about someone’s character based on a brief interaction.
It just takes a pause, a willingness to question our assumptions, and a commitment to responding with humility and grace.