In preparation for a recent trip, I searched for new hiking boots, as my ten-year-old boots no longer fit well. The team member at the store was amazing; she clearly knew the brands and options, she provided an honest assessment of what might work best for me, and she was engaging and affable. When I chose my boots, I thanked her for her truthfulness, time, and expertise, and I then repeated those comments to the store manager. While on my trip, I stayed in a hotel in which the team members cooking the made-to-order omelets and those clearing breakfast dishes were truly fantastic; they were helpful, efficient, and simply delightful. I engaged and thanked each person and then shared that specific feedback with the customer service rep at the front desk.
In each of these encounters, when I began to offer feedback, I sensed hesitation, as if the recipients were bracing for complaints about service, quality, or personnel. When they realized that I intended to provide positive comments, their whole demeanor shifted; they seemed delighted and fully engaged in the conversation. Several remarked that I “made their day” and thanked me profusely for sharing my thoughts.
These conversations mirror my experience in working with team members in a variety of settings.
When a manager or even a peer requests a meeting, team members often assume that they are likely to receive negative feedback, as such conversations are consistent with their experience. Even personnel whose managers say, “I appreciate you” often report that the platitudes are uttered without specifics and feel generalized, performative, and inauthentic. The impact on our team members is that many feel demoralized, unseen, and consistently uneasy, and they question whether their efforts are truly valued.
What can we do to counteract this experience? The answer is simple; we can consistently and genuinely provide specific, positive feedback. Did a supervisee or peer collaborate effectively, successfully complete a project, help a colleague, or perform well in a discrete task? If we reliably highlight these moments, team members are likely to stop assuming that they may be “in trouble” and cease waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop. If our remarks include specifics and are truly authentic, our team members are also likely to feel understood and truly appreciated. And if we share our comments with a manager or another representative, leaders will better understand the outstanding work of their team members.
Simple (and specific) affirmative feedback benefits everyone enormously—the recipient, the leader, and even the source (these actions have been shown to improve our own well-being, too!). If we commit to spending just a few minutes a couple of times a day providing genuine, affirmative comments to our team members and service providers, we can positively impact the experience of all our people!