“After our argument, we lost touch. I never thought I wouldn’t have the chance to fix things between us.”
I’ve recently heard a number of similar stories from colleagues, clients, and friends. People who were once central to their lives had drifted away, often after a conflict or misunderstanding, leaving much unsaid and unresolved.
A 50-year-old friend who moved out of town.
A former colleague with whom they had lost touch.
A sibling who lived far away.
A parent they hadn’t talked to in years.
As I listen, I hear grief and pain—and almost always, questions laced with angst and regret:
- Could I have been a better friend, colleague, parent, or child?
- Should I have tried harder to resolve our differences and stay in touch?
- Should I rekindle our relationship before it’s too late?
- How can I find peace if I can no longer speak with them?
Life is often busy, packed with responsibilities, commitments, and the daily whirlwind.
Relationships can be complicated, shaped by history, misunderstandings, or the weight of past harms. Sometimes we minimize contact to protect ourselves.
Regardless, once the opportunity to connect is gone, the questions we are left with can feel heavy, and they rarely allow for satisfying answers.
What can we do now to minimize later regret and the loss of opportunities?
- We can commit to reaching out intentionally to the people in our lives, even when we are busy.
- We can be willing to have difficult conversations when possible (sometimes with help, and always while honoring boundaries to keep us healthy and safe).
- We can work through our own pain (often with help) so that we can show up differently.
- And every day, we can choose to live our values in how we connect, communicate, and care.
While these steps are not always easy, they can open the door to finding clarity, comfort, and resolution.